She Drove Him Nuts
by Kuramanamanama
Summary: Flonne drove Laharl nuts. She must be the easiest person to kill or even rape. On top of that, her naivety was always screwing around with his head. Sometimes he figured she did it on purpose. But that's okay. In the end, Laharl loves that about her.


I do not own Disgaea. I'm just a huge LaharlxFlonne fan, that's all. I know I should be focusing on my other stories, but I couldn't resist writing a one-shot for them.

She drove him nuts.

When she wasn't spewing on and on about that love-crap (still 1,000 years later), she was talking about the Seraph. When she wasn't talking about the Seraph, she ran around the castle with baskets full of yui flowers, using them to decorate wherever and whatever she pleased.

His room was no exception.

"FlONNE! GET IN HERE!"

"Oh, Laharl!" she appeared suddenly, smiling that stupid grin of hers. "What's going on?"

"What do you _mean_ what's going on?" he barked at her. "THE REDICULOUS CRAP IN MY CASKET, THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON!"

Peering around his scantily clad body, she found the source of his anger. Yui flowers waved to her from where they stood, tucked into the sides of the coffin that Laharl was known to sleep in. Flonne didn't understand what his eternal complaining was about. She would love it if someone were to do something like that for her.

"They're lovely, aren't they?" she cooed, ignoring his angry glare to walk forward and pet the petals of a few of them.

"No, they are NOT lovely!" he yelled at her. "Get 'em out of here!"

"But Laharl…" she pouted. "If I'm going to be sleeping in this casket too, don't I deserve to make it at least a little nicer?"

"What are you talking about? It's fine!"

"I think we should get a bed like Etna suggested…" she trailed off.

The Overlord turned to look at his vassal, who would become his Queen in less than three months. He had already given in to her about having a _wedding_, so why should he have to give up anything more? Ugh...That awful ceremony…He hated the thought of having to subject himself to a human and angelic tradition, but Flonne had flat-out refused to become his mate otherwise. After all, in the Netherworld, all one has to do is give their cherished one their seal and bite their neck to activate it. It was much easier than all of this wedding crap.

"We don't need a bed!" Laharl insisted. "It's plenty big enough for the both of us! Besides, you always end up curling into my chest anyway, so you really don't take up that much room…"

"But…" she continued in a whisper.

"What?!"

"How will we ever consummate the marriage in such an enclosed and tight space?" she asked with pure naivety.

Laharl fell over, and then promptly jumped back up to his feet, his face hot and stained with pink. "Wh-where do you get off talking like that?!"

Her big, blue eyes, so innocent in contrast to his cruel, red ones, looked right at him. "Do you not want children, Laharl?"

"That's not the point!" he turned his back so she wouldn't be able to see his bright red face. "I don't want you talking like that! When I want to release my anger by doing that to you, I'll tell you!"

"But Laharl!" Flonne's voice rose an octave as it always did before she was about to preach about her love-crap. "The act of sex is also an act of love! Used to express just how much the one you married means to you physically…And if we're lucky enough to create new life, it serves as an everlasting symbol of our love for each other…"

His whole body must have been red by now. How could she say that so easily? How could she, the most innocent person in the entire Netherworld, talk about sex so calmly? When he, on the other hand—the nastiest, toughest demon there was—got all hot and bothered at the mere mention of the deed?

Laharl remained silent. He did not want to talk about this right now.

"Laharl…You will have me, won't you?"

He turned around now. "Huh?"

"I mean…" she looked at her feet. "You do love me, don't you?"

It had been hard to say that to her the first time and it never got any easier. She told him at least five times a day that she loved him, but Flonne herself was lucky if Laharl said it back to her once every month.

"Flonne…" his voice was gentle now as he saw the angel's eyes well up with unshed tears. "Flonne, don't cry…"

"You never say it enough…You never want me to hug you or even touch you…Why me, then? Why do you want me to be your Queen if you can't even stand me?"

"You drive me friggin' nuts, I ain't gonna lie," he told her and she sniffled, causing him to drop the act. "Oh, c'mon Flonne. You know I l-love you...That's why we're doing this your way, remember? Hey…"

He walked towards her and wrapped her in his arms and then his scarf. Her tears that had threatened to fall earlier dribbled down his chest . "What's going to happen, Laharl? I love you so much, but I'm scared…So scared…Seraph Lamington…I wish I still had his guidance…"

Laharl sighed. He hated it when she turned to the Seraph for comfort instead of him, even if it was only in her thoughts. To be quite honest, Laharl had always wondered if the Seraph had ever taken advantage of Flonne in a way that she would be too stupid to notice. He wouldn't put it past that damned angel.

"Do you want kids, Flonne?" he asked her, already knowing the answer. She slowly nodded against him. "How many? I was thinking one or two..."

"Y-you thought about us having kids?" she pulled away from him, starting to perk up. At 2,515, Flonne was ready to settle down and finally have a family. Laharl was embarrassed at the idea and couldn't picture himself being a father, but hey. If his dad could do it, then so could he! "Could we start right now?"

His eyebrows knitted together as it all suddenly came to him. He studied her face before finally deciding to ask her. "Flonne?"

"What is it, Laharl?"

"Do you know what it means to consummate a marriage? And, for that matter, do you even know how babies are made?"

"Nope! But Etna told me we would need a bed or else we would be uncomfortable!"

She drove him nuts.

~*~

"Daddy…Pst! Daddy!"

Laharl groaned, still in a deep sleep. He felt two tiny hands come up to play with his face and make him at least open his eyes to look at the miniscule intruder.

"Daddy, I can't sleep!" the blue-haired child, not older than the age of 4, whispered to him in a futile attempt to keep him from waking up anyone else.

Flonne rolled over to face the nearly identical looking father and son. "Leon, what happened? Did you have a bad dream?"

Leon nodded fervently and his father hoisted him up by his armpits, finally settling the kid between him and his queen. "Leon, little buddy…You gotta start actin' like a demon. We can't keep doing this every night."

"Hush up, you!" Flonne shoved him a bit. "Leon, sweetheart, don't listen to your daddy. Everyone gets scared sometimes. It's okay."

Flonne began to comb her fingers through the prince's hair and in no time he was asleep. Laharl couldn't help but smile at the scene. His son had curled himself into a tiny ball and now lay there, breathing in a heavy and steady rhythm. "I love him, Flonne."

She laughed a bit. "I do too, Laharl. I love you just as much as I love him."

He pulled her into his lap. "Guess that means you love me quite a bit, huh?"

Again, Flonne giggled. She kissed him softly before curling into his chest as she always did, the everlasting symbol of their love for each other sleeping soundly between them.

Laharl figured it was okay that she drove him nuts.


End file.
